{"id":672,"date":"2013-08-15T17:23:55","date_gmt":"2013-08-15T17:23:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.sportspaper.org\/?p=672"},"modified":"2013-08-15T17:23:55","modified_gmt":"2013-08-15T17:23:55","slug":"a-rod-would-fit-right-in-the-major-bizarro-world-league","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.sportspaper.org\/?p=672","title":{"rendered":"A-Rod would fit right in the Major Bizarro World League"},"content":{"rendered":"

Bumming around town with Bill Bumerton<\/h1>\n

Bumerton is a retired Navy fighter pilot who had been missing in action for several years while he traversed the globe looking for greener grass. He discovered the grass is only greener here (it\u2019s blue in Kentucky), so he returned to again take charge of his 1954 green Hudson Hornet that had been in storage, refilled his pipe, and is continuing his smokin\u2019 ways. Here is what he recently told us at the Sports Paper.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"Bumerton<\/a>
Bumerton sees all<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Boy, Big Dawg, there is a mad scramble for the two wildcard spots in the American League as the season is down to its last six weeks. Tampa Bay, Baltimore, the Yankees, Oakland (or Texas), Cleveland, and even Kansas City have a shot.\u00a0 It looks like the two wildcards in the National League will come from the Central Division. St. Louis and Cincinnati will likely be the two, unless Central leading Pittsburgh falters, and then the Pirates will grab a wildcard. I really think, Big Dawg, that this is a golden season for MLB. There are some very good teams and some very good young players.<\/p>\n

\"Alex<\/a><\/p>\n

Alex Rodriguez kissing up<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Now if only MLB can rid itself of the irritation that is A-Rod, things could be wonderful. If A-Rod fails in his appeal, and I\u2019m hoping he does, I think he and others accused of taking PEDs should start what Jerry Seinfeld called \u201cThe Bizarro World.\u201d Only it would be renamed MBWL \u2013 Major Bizarro World League. Only those players who have been accused, convicted or penalized for taking PEDs would be eligible for this league. They would all have to submit to testing to make sure they are on PEDS. Failure to test positive for PEDs would be grounds to be banned for life. I\u2019d open up the league a bit and allow gamblers like Pete Rose and bad dudes like Ty Cobb to be eligible. Barry Bonds could come back just on character alone, although the league would also welcome him for his allegded PED use. Rocket Roger would be eligible. A-Rod would be league commissioner as well as a player and maybe even a manager and owner of a team. Heck, we might even name the league after him \u2013 A-Rod\u2019s Bizzaro World League. \u2026 In a world where bad news sells \u2013 and we see and hear and read about tons of it every day \u2013 I think it\u2019s worth noting, Big Dawg, that Robby Thompson, interim manager for those Marinaros of yours, is doing a good job. I like him. He\u2019s direct and honest and there isn\u2019t a trace of BS. It\u2019s nice to see. \u2026 Johnny Football sure seems to ride the edge doesn\u2019t he? He reminds me a little of Joe Namath, the Broadway Joe Namath that was the toast of the Big Apple when he played for the Jets. If Johnny Manziel can get that far, and the way he rides along the edge all the time there is some doubt, he could be fun to read about in the NFL. He might not be fun to coach, though. \u2026 Speaking of college football, Kent State has a running back that could be the sleeper on the national stage this year. He is Dri Archer, a 5-8, 175-pound senior that last year rushed for 1,429 yards, averaging nine yards every time he touched the ball. Kent State has started a Heisman campaign for him. It\u2019s a superhero cartoon called \u201cThe Archer\u201d and a Kent State alumnus is doing the drawings. Anybody who runs for nearly 1,500 yards, though, is no cartoon character. \u2026 I think, Big Dawg, that we should invent a golf tour for those of us who can\u2019t shoot it straight. It would be divided into two divisions. The Open Division for guys with handicaps no higher than 20 and the Closed Division for those of us with handicaps over 20. We would have to cap that division in case you tried to enter. We wouldn\u2019t want somebody who regularly shot in the 175-area, so we would cut it off at a 40 handicap. The first two days would be stroke play and we\u2019d cut to the top eight for match play. We\u2019d have to get some big name sponsors, maybe like The Sports Paper, to fund it. We would call the tour \u2013 the PGGA (the Pretty Good Golf Association). We would, of course, test for PEDS, but not for beer.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Bumming around town with Bill Bumerton Bumerton is a retired Navy fighter pilot who had been missing in action for…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2,16],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-672","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-bumerton","category-top-stories"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.sportspaper.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/672","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.sportspaper.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.sportspaper.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.sportspaper.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.sportspaper.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=672"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/www.sportspaper.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/672\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":674,"href":"http:\/\/www.sportspaper.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/672\/revisions\/674"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.sportspaper.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=672"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.sportspaper.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=672"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.sportspaper.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=672"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}