Bumming around town with Bill Bumerton

Bumerton is a retired Navy fighter pilot who had been missing in action for several years while he traversed the globe looking for greener grass. He discovered the grass is only greener here (it’s blue in Kentucky), so he returned to again take charge of his 1954 green Hudson Hornet that has been in storage, refilled his pipe, and is ready to continue his smokin’ ways. Here is what he recently told us at the Sports Paper.

I can’t help it, Big Dawg, and I know you can’t, but I A-Rod is awful tough to like. He continues to play the victim, deflecting his problems to somebody else. I know you was the first one to discover he’s as phony as a three-dollar bill, but his phoniness is just gotten way overboard. The guy is unbelievable. Why can’t he just shut up and go back into the hole he came from? I’m almost sure his teammates and the Yankees don’t want him back. But he insists he’s coming back. Man, just go away. … You got bad news today when your older brother called to tell you the wife of one of your nephews suddenly died. She was just a few days short of her 58th birthday. Her and your nephew had just purchased a house in Paul’s Valley, Oklahoma, which is near Oklahoma City, and she had driven there from their other home in Memphis, Tenn. when she collapsed and died. Your nephew (David) is in terrible shock, as if the family. Members of the family (there are 14 children) have rushed to Oklahoma. It just goes to show you never know about life. Your brother (Ray), who is the father of those 14 children, said his daughter-in-law’s death brought memories of you and his mother’s sudden passing on May 21, 1953. “I just got off the boat at Okinawa and was told to go see the camp Chaplin,” your brother told you. “He told me my mother had died. I had nobody. I cried.” That was a devastating loss for you and your family, just as the death of your niece is to the family, and to you. Sorry, Big Dawg. … The Peninsula Umpires Association will be hosting the Billy Haze black and Blue 2 man umpire camp on September 13 – 15th in Poulsbo. It’s a great opportunity for anybody who wants to get involved with umpiring games at the high school and college level. To sign up go to the PUA home page http://peninsulaumpires.org/) where there is information regarding lodging, signup deadlines and a camp flyer.